did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
