Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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