So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
