all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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