wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
