I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
