It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
A+ Viking dick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
