I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
