I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
