how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
