No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
