y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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