I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
