I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
