He kissed a someone with a penis
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
