After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
