god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
