I should be sponsored by Trojan
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
