He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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