so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
