my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
