Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
