Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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