She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
