She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
