I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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