Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
