Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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