You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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