why didn't you poke me back
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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