operation harelip BJ is a go
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
