i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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