I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
