it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
