Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
