I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
