He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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