his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
