oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
