I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
