Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
