so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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