I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
