It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
