what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
