He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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