im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
