let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
