So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
