I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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